Henry Grover (the man who founded Watford Rovers in 1881) has some interesting ideas on how to demonstrate allegiance to the Horns during the Covid19 pandemic…
Down on earth, football fans like to boast about their commitment and loyalty.
“Call yourself a proper fan?” someone will say. “I didn’t see you at the 5-2 Simod Cup defeat at Ipswich in January 1988.”
Up here in Hornet Heaven, of course, we’re all committed to Watford for eternity. We don’t need to prove ourselves.
(Apart from Neil McBain. We’ll never be sure he isn’t a secret scummer.)
Before the pandemic, what mattered in the land of the living was attendance at matches. If you hadn’t trekked 200 miles through driving snow to a midweek game that was called off at the last minute, you’d be called a fair-weather fan.
But all of you are fair-weather fans now. None of you can be at matches until there’s an improvement in the public health climate. You’re all equal.
So what can you do to prove that you’re more of a Horn than some plastic fan? I have five pieces of helpful advice…
Start early
In Hornet Heaven, fans never sleep. We support the Horns 24 hours a day for eternity. Down on earth, though, you can get caught napping. So set your alarm for before dawn. Get yourself up and supporting Watford by 5.00am at the very latest. A true fan is always up with the lark and chanting a dawn chorus or two.
Dress to impress
A lot of you own several replica shirts. (Dreadful things. I don’t approve.) But no one can see them when they’re in a drawer. So wear them. All at once. To prove how many you’ve got. You’ll look like Troy Deeney reporting for pre-season, but that’s good. You’ll be showing everyone you’re the top dog.
Rack up the views
Modern technology is a bit beyond me, but I’ve heard that many people view multiple screens at once. So why not simultaneously watch the game on your TV, and your laptop, and your desktop, and your tablet, and your phone. At the end of 90 minutes, you’ll have seen four more Watford games than the casual armchair fan.
Travel anyway
In Hornet Heaven, we get to games through the ancient turnstile. Down on earth, you can prove your commitment by travelling to far flung places. So, for away games, you could drive to Hillsborough, Deepdale, Oakwell, and all the others, and park outside the gates with your multi-screen set-up in your car. (Make sure you install bullet-proof windows for your trip to Kenilworth Road.)
Arrive in Hornet Heaven
People who make it into our afterlife have proved they love Watford unconditionally. Death is a small price to pay, frankly. And living in Hornet Heaven is definitely a lot more enjoyable than that 5-2 defeat in the Simod Cup at Ipswich. So get here quick.
Henry Grover founded Watford Rovers in 1881. He is now The Father Of The Club in Hornet Heaven — the afterlife paradise for Watford fans. You can hear more from him in the Hornet Heaven stories on audio here and in paperback and ebook here.
Meanwhile, if you fancy a new t-shirt for the new season, we have one on sale here.
HORNET HEAVEN 