After Derek had gone off in a huff, Bill and Henry went inside the Troy Deeney Atrium.
A fan came up to them and said: ‘Excuse me, Bill. Excuse me, Henry. Sorry to interrupt. I’m Turner Wilkes, if you remember.’
‘Ah, hello Turner, old lad,’ Henry said.
Turner continued: ‘I’m the Watford St Mary’s fan who—’
Henry interrupted with a smile: ‘Who imprisoned Bill in a burial vault when he came to see you in St Mary’s Sanctuary a couple of years back?’
Henry laughed and Bill joined in.
‘How are you, Turner?’ Bill asked.
‘Good, thanks, Bill. But I saw there’s been a name change — and I think the club’s missing a trick. We should be going back to the name Watford St Mary’s.’
‘Interesting,’ Bill said. ‘Go on.’
‘Well, Bill, back in the nineteenth century before Watford St Mary’s “amalgamated” with Wet Farts to become Watford FC —’
‘Um… West Herts, don’t you mean, old chap?’ Henry said.
‘I said what I meant: Wet Farts,’ Turner said pointedly.
He continued: ‘Anyway, before the so-called “merger”, Wet Farts were the posh nobs, and the Saints were the People’s Team in the town; the Everyman’s Team. So if the club wants a more down-to-earth image these days — rather than being Gino Pozzo’s private plaything — they should rename it Watford St Mary’s. There’d definitely be a good working-class rub-off.’
‘Hmmm… Intriguing… A working class rub-off,’ Henry said. ‘I, um.. I think I’ll pop away and, um, have a little think about that… See you later, gentlemen.’
Bill watched Henry go and called after him doubtfully: ‘Er…. see you later, Henry.’
Then he turned back to Turner Wilkes and said: ‘Well, Turner, that’s an interesting idea, but I think it’s too late. The new name’s already in place on the back of the Vicarage Road stand. Is that where you found out about it?’
‘No, Bill. I was just fetching myself a programme to an old European game from the 1980s, and I saw the name change on the front cover. Take a look for yourself… Here you go… Sparta Prague versus Colney Butts.’
‘Golly! A small rural settlement playing in the UEFA Cup! Now there’s a sporting fairy tale!’ Bill exclaimed, thoroughly thrilled. Then he became thoughtful. ‘Except… Wait… I don’t get this… How has the name changed on a programme from 40 years ago?… What’s going on?’
‘I must admit I thought it was odd,’ Turner said.
Bill rubbed his chin and said curiously: ‘Hmmm.. I need to get to the bottom of this whole Butts business.’
HORNET HEAVEN 